Princessing

GirlChild: "Look, Mom. I'm a princess." She strikes a pose. Pointing to her bracelet and necklace she says, "This is what I wear when I'm princessing."

Me, too!

Me: "I love lasagna."
BoyChild: "Me, too."
GirlChild: "Me, too."
BoyChild: "You mean, 'Me three.'"
GirlChild: "I'm not three, I'm two!"
BoyChild: "No, you have to say, 'Me three.'"
GirlChild: "But I'm two!"

Planning for the Future

BoyChild wanted to know what college was so I tried to explain it, told him that's where I learned to be a teacher, and listed some other jobs you could learn.  
GirlChild, overhearing this conversation said, "What am I going to be?" I told her she could be whatever she wanted. She said, "I want to be a princess." Should have seen that one coming. I said ok, but there might not be many openings. She said, "The other princesses are trying to get in my way."
 

Details

BoyChild to sister, "Stop bossing me with details!"
Turns to me and the Dad. "What's a detail?"
Turns back to sister, as if it doesn't really matter. "I said STOP bossing me with DETAILS!"

Abducted By Aliens?

Recent comments from BoyChild:

"Mmm, broccoli."
"Mom, may I have some more broccoli please?"
"Where is the duster?  I want to dust."

Who is this child and what happened to my son?

Nevermind

GirlChild:  "What are we going to do now?"
Me:  "Lunch, then nap."
GirlChild:  "Nevermind, we don't need a nap. Nevermind."

Later:
Me: "Naptime."
GirlChild:  "Nevermind!" Laughs. "Are you teasing me?"

Star Wars with the Kids

Random comments from the kids while watching Star Wars.

GirlChild: "Chewie can drive! He's a good Chewie."
BoyChild: "How do they turn that black guy off? The not nice one? How did he get that suit on? Is he a robot? Why does he talk like that?"

I love watching movies with the kids.

Cleaning Up

GirlChild (after making a mess on the floor): "We need to vacuum the kitchen."
Me:  "I usually sweep."
GirlChild (goes to get the broom, "sweeps", then hands me the dustpan): "You're my helper.  Throw this in the garbage."
Yes, ma'am?

Logic?

I'm sitting at the computer and BoyChild comes to sit on my lap.  GirlChild, playing nearby, does not like this.  She comes over and starts pushing him off, crying.  When she sees this approach is not working, she yells, "You're not a little girl!"

Not one to be crossed

From the backseat of the car GirlChild says, "Be nice or I'll drop you back at home."
Me: "Who are you talking to?"
GirlChild: "I'm not talking to you.  Stop talking."
Ok then.

Climber

Me: "Don't climb on the cabinets."
BoyChild: "Don't worry, I'm a great climber.  I'm the greatest climber in the world."

Big Brother to the Rescue

GirlChild (in her most pitiful voice): "BoyChild, my cheek hurts." (She points to an imaginary spot on her cheek.)
BoyChild:  "Don't worry, I'll make it feel better in a jiffy!"

Gullible

Someone mentioned something about Texas.  Boychild said, "My cousin R goes to school in Texas."
What?  R is 10 and has never left Wisconsin.  Please don't believe everything your big cousins tell you.

Potty Training

We have resorted to bribery in the potty training of GirlChild.  She can do it, just has no desire, so we have an M&M system.  One for sitting and trying, two for #1, three for #2.  She gets it.  She sat and after a minute said, "No potty today.  I get an M&M now.  Thank you for trying."

Driving?

BoyChild was ready for school early so I asked if he wanted the key to open the garage while waiting for his sister and I to get our coats on.
"Yes," he said. "Which one is for starting the car?"
Nice try.

Growing Up

I'm standing at the fridge and hold up a beer to see if the Dad wants one.  He declines, but GirlChild says, "I want one, I want one!" 
Me:  "Nope, sorry.  Those are for grown ups." 
Her:  "BoyChild wants one." 
Me:  "BoyChild isn't a grown up." 
Her:  "Not yet."

Guilty

GirlChild was just chanting "stupid something," but I couldn't understand what she was calling stupid. I said, "What did you say?" and she just looked at me, wide-eyed like she knew she had been caught doing something wrong, and said, "I don't know."  Then her brother asked if I was going to post that.

Surprise

BoyChild was apparently practicing his cereal-pouring skills while I was in another room.  I saw the mess when I walked into the kitchen.
Me:  "Who got Kix all over my floor?"
BoyChild: "Surprise!"

Sense of Smell

I received a candle as a teacher appreciation gift.
BoyChild: "It smells like crayons and play dough."
Appropriate enough for a teacher, right?  It was supposed to be sweet pear.

Teacher

I am showing the kids how to do something and BoyChild says, "Mom, you could be a teacher!"
Glad you think so, dear.  Guess I made the right career choice.

My House

BoyChild:  "This is my house."
Me:  "Ok, then you can help me clean it."
BoyChild:  "It's my house when it's clean.  It's your house when it's dirty."

Song

GirlChild is playing with a folded-in-half piece of cardboard given to her by her brother.  She thinks no one is paying attention to her and she is singing a song.  It goes something like this: "I love you closed...I love you open...I love you closed...I love you open..."  As she sings, she opens and closes the cardboard accordingly. 

Mad

BoyChild does something he knows he should not do.  I am not happy.  BoyChild says anxiously, "Mom, don't be mad." I just look at him with an unhappy look on my face. "If I give you a kiss will you be happy?"  I am still just looking at him.  He gives me a kiss on the cheek.  "Are you happy now?" he asks hopefully.  Of course I have to smile. 

Wrong Answer

GirlChild:  "Mom, can I have that?"
Me:  "No."
GirlChild:  "No, say 'yes'. Can I have that?" 

She uses this technique frequently, in various situations.

Fast Learner

GirlChild was helping me unwrap chocolate kisses to make treats for a party.  "This one's broken, Mama," she said.  "I hafta eat it."  For the record, it looked perfectly fine to me. 

Take Care

BoyChild: "Thanks Mom. You always take care of things."
Sometimes he says the sweetest things. 

Names

GirlChild is doing something she knows she should not be doing.
Me: (in a stern voice) "GirlChild MiddleName."
Her: (laughing, with a big smile) "Mommy LastName."
Sometimes they make it tough to keep a straight face.   

Awkward

Here is one from my sister.  My nephew is 10. 
Nephew says to his mom:  "You smell like a cookie.... Did someone beat you in the head with a sugar cookie at work today? Please don't say yes, that would be awkward."

She Told Me

GirlChild to me, after I made the mistake of touching her Cinderella doll: (voice stern, finger pointed) "You don't touch kids' dollies.  It's for kids."

Sibling Love

Kids can be so sweet sometimes.  We were riding in the car and BoyChild picked up a MagnaDoodle.  He told his sister, "I'm going to draw a picture of you."  When he was finished he showed her the picture and said, "I drew your belly a heart because I love you."

Pretty

Me:  "GirlChild, you are so pretty."
GirlChild:  "Yep. I know."
Gotta love a girl with confidence.

Answers

I set some things on the kitchen counter and when I turned my back the kids had set them on the table where they were sitting.  I was half exasperated and half laughing when I asked, "What am I going to do with you?"  Not understanding rhetorical questions, BoyChild thought for a second, then said very seriously, "Take care of us... Love us... And play with us."

Observant

BoyChild: "Looks like you cleaned out the toilet today."
Um, thanks for noticing?

Prediction

I was returning a call one day and BoyChild quizzed me about it when I was finished.  I had been speaking with Suzy Smith who was in charge of the children's mass BoyChild would take part in.  Five days later I am reminding Dad that mass practice will be the next day and BoyChild overhears.  He says, "Suzy Smith is gonna love me!"

Hungry

GirlChild:  "Another bagel please."
Me:  "Sure.  I didn't know you were so hungry. I'll get you one."
GirlChild:  "Yes, I have two hungries today."

Short

GirlChild:  "Pick me up."
Me:  "Not right now. You can walk."
GirlChild:  "But I have tiny little legs."

Dad

Dad was at work and I was home with the kids, I think they were getting dressed.  Out of the blue BoyChild said, "You picked the perfect Dad."

Presents

After BoyChild's birthday, GirlChild found a gift bag and put it on her head.  "Open me!" she said.  BoyChild took the bag off her head and said, "GirlChild, you are the best present ever."

Sad Meal

BoyChild was asking me why we didn't use a coupon he got from school for a free McDonald's cheeseburger.  I told him it was because we usually got a Happy Meal and that the coupon was for a cheeseburger only and didn't come with a toy.  He said, "Well, maybe next time we'll get a Sad Meal."

Smiles

GirlChild is a very happy child and always has a smile on her face.  One day we were at Grandma's house and she looked sad.  I said, "Where did your smiles go?"  She looked at me very seriously and said, "They're in my mouth."

Fantaculous

The kids were playing with their fort-building kit I picked up at a rummage sale.  BoyChild thought it was so great, he had to make up a new word.  He said, "This fort is fantaculous!"  His principal and all of his teachers now know this word.  It is what he says when something is so great that no other word will do.

Workypants

I am downstairs in my office, working on the computer during naptime. BoyChild does not want to lay down.
Me: Naptime is worktime.
BoyChild: Well, go upstairs Workypants!